Validate & Affirm My Life

1/21/24

I get to validate & affirm my life now. I am safe. I can relax. I am loved. I keep my heart open no matter what. I love myself. I love my body. 

Hi Little Love, 

I can feel you processing and digesting something. I love you. You are doing so good. I hear that others are hurting and lashing out & being mean. Yes, little Love. I am sorry that that is true. You feel clear as day. It is safe for you to expand and relax and let go Little Love. Anytime we do things out of fear we ultimately hurt ourselves. My unconscious fight/self protection response that is locked in my right shoulder, prevents me from feeling calm, wanting to write, or dance super free and big, for me. Or my tight stomach tension, especially my left low hip from being assaulted too. Makes it hard to take a full breath, big belly laugh, or eat food in confidence even. 

I am proud of you for facing your fears, Love. I am thankful you feel safe & trusting right now. 

Losing Amora, then the assault, then court, started Kambo for the stomach pain (for Love).

Dear Love, you never deserved to get hurt. I am so sorry that he felt it was permissible to touch you and take of you like that. He didn’t ask. You called out, “Wait!” and he told you to “breathe into it”. You were tricked and confused, and you froze and made it all ok. But some of us always knew it was not ok, not consented. That Matt D. raped you Love. We didn’t know how to speak up, hold space or witness you ourselves yet, Love. You weren’t able to hear us yet. So, I had another mother (Britta) stand in and reflect back to you in sadness & shock for my body (my little Love) that I could not yet name myself.

 I was taught to be taken from and to never dare ask for help. I tried to get my closest male friends to show me for also (Connor, Ignacio, Daddy). Little Love felt alone and hurt and silenced and she decided that because she no longer had a dog in her home, she got raped. I was stuck, and my sexuality (in fear) regresses to a little one. I didn’t have mom and dad parts accessible to me to consciously to update myself. “We are here now.” mom and dad parts. 

“Little Love, our Little Love, we love you so much. We are so sorry for what happened to you. So many things have happened to you.. You are so loving and sweet and kind, that the whole world can have their way with you. The majority of the population is still asleep. Without us of course you couldn't be kept safe. It is not your fault Love. We are here to show you a whole new reality Love. One where every dream you wish to be true will be so. You can have a dog love; we will make sure to adopt just the right one for you Love. Anything that big sister, Light was trying to fix is for Mama Divine and Daddy Trust to handle.

Love, we saw what happened to your body. That night we saw what he did to you. We say you tell him to wait. We saw your freeze. We did everything we could to get you to hear us love, we hurt your stomach love, we made it unbearable to ignore. We got you to let us back in Love, we have been on this journey, helping uncover more to disarm the body, untangle the confusion of source of suffering and pain. Trying to learn, hear, voice, digest/process the unfolding messages. Each time you begin to lose track love and light, we give you little warning signs in your body, if we can't get you the message, if love can’t get you the message, if love can't hear mom and dad and divine. She hurts, panics, shutdown her body to not feel the “impending doom” this pattern of pain and suffering. I will repeatedly acknowledge this delicate dance that the result of following our internal guidance system can lead to extremely painful outcomes, but even / all the pain is much less painful without resistance. 

We did not come here to live out fear and pain. But we have nothing to fear, we are awesome. 

When i pray and ask my body/parts to please come back, please be with me. They are always here if I wish and just ask. I wasn’t taught to trust myself. That I should, in fact, talk to myself! 

As I keep doing the work that I am called to, I process & feel that which arrives. I respond appropriately from a place of wholeness and empowerment. That means I do the work, the “hard thing,” and life get to support me, life will reward me if I let her (mama). 

Daddy will get me exactly the dog I need. 

My voice/heart gets spoken to the masses. 

Light doesn’t have to fight her way through anymore.

She gets to dance. Love gets to dance. 

Mama=heals, rests, & receives

Father=protects, creates, honors

Hi Light, 

We love you. You are the brightest light we have ever known. We are so excited to witness your powers turn into pure joy & magic. It is your time to shine and take up all the space and all the things you now get to me the master (or baby) in. Life is your stage now, my dear! People want and need our gifts. There is nothing we cannot be, do, or have. 

Time to move our body! We love you! 

All parts of me, Daddy/Father Trust, Mama Divine, Mama Love, Awesome, Light & Love.  

remember: @1st sign/symptom, close your eyes, and ask,

“what is it that I need to know?”

“it is safe to look within.” -Louise Hay 

Have you been assaulted ?

• Yes , please help me
• I am undecided
• How do I know?